12 weddings and a few tears

First weekend and I was invited to the wedding of one of our team (though I later realised there were three of our team (both brides and grooms) getting married).  Now let me just explain a little of Africa.  Or maybe Uganda, though I expect it is common throughout.  So, boy meets girl.  They may or may not last – it’s not all arranged marriages here, though there are some.  But let’s fast forward a few months and somehow they ‘are’.  There are a number of stages.  There will be an ‘Introduction’, also described as a ‘traditional’ wedding.  At this point the dowry (FYI groom’s family pays bride’s family) has been agreed (though not necessarily always, and not necessarily paid).   The next logical step is a ‘church’ wedding.

However, after this step (traditional wedding), culturally, it is very, very acceptable to describe each other as wife/husband.  In fact this often happens when they initially identify as a ‘couple’.  Anyway, there is absolutely no issue / shame in having children, once ‘linked’.  In fact, a ‘church’ wedding is very much an ‘affordability’ issue.

Now, Baptists are dominant amongst the Christians here, and a Pastor (of which there are many, many) is very much akin to a Catholic Priest, amongst their number.  The Baptist hierarchy have a current drive to ensure all Pastors have had a ‘church’ wedding.  So, this is where I am at.

There were six brides and six grooms (Pastors).  There should have been seven, but negotiations over an unpaid dowry meant that one couple could not join.  Seriously.  The wedding(s) were fantastic.  Lots of singing.  Lots of dancing.  Lots of colour.  Lots of energy.  Lots of ‘fire and brimstone’ preaching.  Some matrimonial advice (“ladies, this is how to treat your man (demonstration) and then… ‘it will be a done deal’”).  Honestly; he did say this. 

Crazy, embarrassing; as the representative of the charity which employed three of them, I was received as the guest of honour!  Top table.  Front and centre.  In the final parade / exit of the chapel I ‘busted some moves’ (learned and executed the traditional slow march) which had everyone (about 200 inside another 200 outside) laughing.  Awesome!

And the service was in English and Juba Arabic.  So, it felt like not six but 12 weddings!

Tears, yes.  Many of which were mine.   The vows exchanged were not unlike ours, and those that many, many of you will have made.  There was the ‘speak now or forever hold your peace’ clause, which became, “does anyone object, I am going to count to three… one… two……… three!” with great theatre of course.  Then there was the ‘in sickness and health’ clause, that became, “when you are ill, and when you are OK” (really).  

The words that were tough to listen to though, of course, “together until your death”.  

Fuck.